Wrecked Faiy Tale
by korin-chan14
Summary: A two shot.. famous fairy tale and folk tale made into Gintama themed... plus... SHORT omakes from the fanfic "I Love You Baby" series
1. Something Cinderellish

**-Something Cinderellish-**

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Gintama no matter what happens.

AN: I suddenly remembered the "Something Cinderellish" from Fruits Basket, so I made a Gintama, OkiKagu version.

~Dozo

In a far away kingdom of Edo, there's a girl named Kagura living with her wicked stepmother and stepsisters. She was treated badly and acted as their maid. And because she is nice, she never fought back… I'm sorry, did I say nice? That's a little mistake. What I meant was she is a bad-mouthed, lazy, rude, ill-mannered little girl, I mean brat. Though she had no more home to go to so, she needs to stay there and act as their maid.

"OI! Kagura! Did you already collected the rent of that stupid old man?!" shouted her stepmother, (old hag) Otose.

"You brat! Where the hell did you put my beauty product? Don't tell me, you stole them? Heh! Don't waste your energy, you won't be beautiful like me, no matter what you do." Butted the older stepsister Catherine.

"Kagura-sama, do you need some help?" asked the nicer stepsister, Tama.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" snapped Kagura. Everyone looked at her. "Why the hell should I be the one who needs to collect that annoying Jiji's rent? You know he won't give it to me in the first place-aru. And you!" she pointed her finger to Catherine. "The hell I do know with those so-called beauty products you use! I don't want to look like a monster like you! And you!" she faced Tama. "Thanks for the offer. Here, kindly wipe the windows." She said as she gives the pail and rug to Tama.

"Right away." Tama reached for the things and proceeded to the dusty windows she needs to wipe.

"CHOTTO MATTE!" shouted Otose. "Why the hell do you keep on complaining you damn brat? You're just a slave! And don't order my daughter around!"

"Tsk." Kagura just gave them a glare and did the laundry.

"Darn that old hag and bitch Catherine! They kept on ordering me around!" she kept cursing them to herself while washing their clothes, when she had thought of a one nasty idea.

Next day…

"KAGURA!" shouted Catherine.

Kagura immediately went to her and asked with an uninterested face, "What?"

"Don't what, what me you useless slave! What the hell have you done to my precious dress?" what Catherine was talking about was the dress she was currently wearing. It was full of holes and some parts are ripped.

"What's wrong with that-aru? It fits perfectly on you. A rugged dress, worn by a person with a rugged face. What a perfect combination!" Kagura exclaimed but kept wearing her uninterested face.

"Why you-" but before Catherine can smack Kagura's dead panned face, she stopped when they had heard Otose talking to someone.

"Oh my, oh my… to think that the king's messenger personally came to us. It's such an honor."

"Iya~ it's not like you're the only one I went to." Mumbled the messenger Shinpachi.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING CATHERINE!" Otose freaked out, seeing Catherine wearing the rugged dress.

"Oka-san…"

"Hurry up and get changed. How dare you stand being seen by our visitor like that? And you! Hurry up and prepare tea for our guest!"

"No wait, I don't need some tea. I just came here to tell you the message of the King. I still need to visit the other families as well."

"Ya heard the megane (eye glasses), baba (old hag). I don't need to waste my time and energy preparing snack for him-aru."

"DON'T CALL ME MEGANE/BABA!" shouted the two.

*coughs* "Anyway, here's the king's announcement." Shinpachi pulled the scroll and arranged his eyeglasses, and started reading,

_Attention!_

_To all the ladies of Edo. We are inviting the all of you to attend the ball this coming Sunday at the palace. The main agenda of the said ball is to search for a lady the prince would like to be his bride. We hope we could see you there._

_Yours truly,_

_King Kondou & Queen Otae _(WTF!)

"With that said, we would be hoping to see the Ayano family this Sunday night."

"Of course we would. Just wait and see, the prince would truly love my precious daughters."

After Shinpachi had left, Otose had summoned Catherine, Tama, and even Kagura.

"As I have said, we would attend the ball and one of the two of you would catch the heart of the prince and marry him." Otose explained. "And while we're out, you're in charge in the house Kagura. Don't dare leave, and don't even think of attending the ball since an ugly brat like you, doesn't fit to be there."

Kagura picked her nose and answered, "I don't really care-ar. What's that ball anyway? Do you collect them and make a wish? What? You had finally realized that you're a bunch of uglies and gonna wish for Shenlon to be beautiful? But I guess it's quite impossible even for him-aru." She answered in a monotone.

"Stupid brat! Who the hell are you calling ugly huh?" Catherine snapped. "And that's not a ball moron!"

"A ball is an event, where people dances together and eat exquisite foods." Explained Tama.

"F-food-aru? Did you just say food? I want to go!"

"I already told you to not. Now go out and leave our sight. We still need to prepare for this Sunday's ball." Ordered Otose.

"Tsk."

SUNDAY…

"Remember what I had told you? Don't go anywhere Kagura. We would be back around midnight. Got it?"

"Yeah, yeah whatever. Just go away ok?"

So, Kagura was left alone eating sukonbu, not having the slightest intention of doing the chores given to her.

"They are so lucky, they can eat all the foods at the ball. I wish, I could go too."

After saying that, a blinding light spread to the whole place. Kagura was stunned on what she saw.

"Your wish will now be granted."

"Who the hell are you-aru" Kagura panicked and quickly grabbed her umbrella and aimed it at him, ready to fire his… baldy head.

"W-wait Kagura-chan. Don't hurt me. I'm here to help you."

"Huh but why-aru?"

"Because, I'm your fairy god Pappi." Said the baldy fairy wearing a disgusting fairy costume.

"Fairy god Pappi, can I ask a question-aru?"

"Sure my dear, what is it"

"That blinding light that hurted my eyes, did it came from your baldy head?" she asked innocently.

"That kinda hurts, but what you said was true, because… this is where I get my super powers!"

"NANI?"

"Here, let me show you how." After that, another blinding light occupied the whole place. After the light finally faded, Kagura saw herself wearing a beautiful light blue gown, paired with a glass tiara and glass shoes.

"Jiji! How the hell did you do that?!"

"That's what you call magic."

"Magic-aru?"

"Sou dayo Kagura-chan."

"Then does that means you can do anything with that baldy head of yours?"

*sweat drop* "Mah, something like that." *coughs* "So now, with my help, you could now go and join that ball."

"Nah, it's not like I really want to go to that boring ball-aru. I just want to eat the food there. So if you don't mind, can you just make some food rather than wasting my time going to that stupid ball?"

"But, don't you want to see the handsome prince?"

"Not interested-aru."

"You should be. Imagine if the prince fall for you. Think how it could change your life."

"Me, marrying the prince" she mumbled to herself. She imagined the scenario, she marrying the (un)lucky prince. She would be rich and will be drowned with tons of food. She started drooling and answered, "I'll do it!"

So her fairy god Pappi prepared a carriage for her. It was made of an egg, and was pulled by her pet dog Sadaharu. She went inside when the baldy fairy gave her a warning.

"Kagura-chan, just take note that the magic would only be until midnight."

"Eh? There's a time limit-aru?"

"Everything has an end. So if you don't want to walk home, be punctual with the time, got it?"

"Hai, hai. Thanks baldy. Ike! Sadaharu!"

At the palace…

Every girl kept on asking the handsome prince for a dance.

"Would you like to have a dance prince?" asked Princess Otsuu.

"No."

"Let's dance price." Invited Princess Sa-chan.

"Get lost."

"Prince-"

"No."

"Ano-"

"Go away."

Every girl has been mercilessly rejected by the prince including Catherine and Tama. That's when Kagura had entered the scene. Everyone was stunned and fascinated with her beauty, but one thing had surprised them all. She didn't went to give the prince a greeting but went straight to the buffet table.

"Yahoo! Food-aru!" she immediately stuffed herself with the food. "This is one fantastic ball!"

Everyone had lost their interest with the girl, and just went back to what they are doing. Except for the prince, who even went near her.

"Hey, long time no see, China." The prince greeted.

"China?" hearing that word made Kagura put down the drumstick she was eating and faced the man who called her with that name.

"Don't tell me you had already forgotten about me? Are you trying to hurt this prince's feelings?"

"Do you fucking kidding me? Who the hell would forget that sadistic brat who fed me a cake that is so freaking spicy-aru!?"

"Glad that you still remember… but I guess, you forgot thanking me for it."

"Like hell I'll do that. What the hell are you doing here anyways? Don't tell me you want to marry the prince?" she asked while making a disgusted face.

"Geez, as expected from an idiot."

"Whaddya say, ya bastard?"

"Don't you know that this handsome man in front of you is this kingdom's prince?"

"What the hell? So you mean to say, that this place is being ruled by a sadist like you? It's the fucking end of the world."

"Something like that China. Anyway, seeing you attending this ball means you want to marry me? Is that it?"

"Who the hell is an idiot, who wants to marry a sadist like you? I'm not an M"

"Well then, kindly look around. Every girl here wants to dance and marry me."

"Well then, count me out. I only came here for the food. So if you don't mind, go away and you're actually disturbing me. Shoo, shoo."

"I don't think so." With that, the prince pulled Kagura's hand and dragged her at the center, shoving the girls who are bugging the prince for a dance.

"Let. Go. Off. Me!" she tried struggling but it was no use.

"Ain't happening." He continued pulling her when Kagura finally lost her patience and kicked his hips. "OUCH! Dammit China. You haven't changed at all, you're still so unlady like." He shouted while, rubbing his hurting hips.

"I hope that your rib cage has been broken."

"In your dreams. Now, dance with me." He commanded, clasping her hand.

"No… I won't!" Kagura insisted.

"You really want to make things so complicated, China. How 'bout we settle this like how we used to do, just like as always?"

"Fine! Prepare to lose, Sadist."

"I think you forgot the fact that you haven't even once, won against me."

"Enough yapping, and let's start already. There are still many food waiting to be eaten!"

And so, with that, the EPIC battle of the century had begun. The epic battle of jak-en-pon.

JAK-EN-PON!

The prince got ROCK, Kagura got SCISSORS… victory lies on the sadistic prince.

"See? I told you, you would lose." He said grinning, "Now China, shall we" he laid his hand waiting for her response, while the other girls are squealing for his handsomeness and cursing Kagura for her luckiness. Kagura just stared at the gorgeous individual in front of her, not moving an inch. "Hay China, I'm waiting…"

Kagura clenched both of her tongue and fist and forcefully placing her hand to the prince. "Just this once, got it?"

"I think you should say _'Oh my, the handsome hottie prince asked me for a dance!'_" the prince said in a mocking tone.

"I'd rather die, than say that-aru."

"Oh then if so, please die this instance."

"Only if you will die first."

"I won't die unless my mayo-freak brother dies first."

"Mind telling you I don't give a damn about it?"

"Can't you just shut up and let's start dancing? You're just wasting my time."

"Hey, I'm just doing you a favor. I don't really want to dance with you."

"Mind reminding that you had lost?"

"Let's just get over with this already."

"If you could just started shutting that mouth of yours and take a step-"

"You really don't want to lose do you-aru?"

The prince didn't answer back, and just pulled her body and led the dancing. Kagura doesn't really know how to dance so she had difficulty with it. Not to mention, she's not used with heels so she kept on _accidentally_ steps on his feet.

"Hey China, tell me… do you really suck on dancing or you're doing it on purpose my feet hurt you know?" Kagura didn't answered back and her face had a slight blush being embarrassed with it. "Oh, so you suck at it." He teased her.

"S-shut up."

While the two of them are busy dancing, the prince's loving parents saw them.

"Oka-san! Oka-san! Look! Our Sougo finally decided to dance with someone!" the gorilla, err… I mean the King exclaimed.

"yeah, yeah… whatever." The second gorilla *the author suddenly gets beaten up* I mean the beautiful queen answered uninterestedly.

Back to the sadist prince and cute heroine.

"Hey Sadist."

"What?"

"You told me that every girl here wants to dance and marry you right?"

"Yeah and so?"

"Then why do you keep on bugging me to dance with you? Aren't it much more easy if you had just accepted these stupid Fangirls offer?"

"No deep reason."

"Yeah right. Maybe you like me-aru?" she asked while wearing a smug on her face.

"Are you sick or what? How could I like you if whenever I remember the times we are together back then, I can't help myself but hate you?"

"Same by me-aru. I can still remember clearly the time you broke my wrist."

"Baka. Your wrist was already broken in the first place. I just tried helping you by putting it back, but I guess I used too much force. But you broke my leg afterwards."

"That's what you call payback. How 'bout that damn spicy cake-aru?"

"Is it my fault that you are too stupid accepting a gift from an enemy."

"TEME! And I can still recall the time when I was kidnapped with you. You're the only one who was supposed to be captured, but I got involved because I'm with you!"

"You know, that's quite expected, when you kept hanging around with a hottie prince like me."

"I think you mean a sadistic bastard prince like you. Besides, I didn't even know you were a prince back then."

"Duh China… in all of Edo Kingdom, you're the only one who doesn't know I'm a prince."

"It's not like I am interested-aru. Prince or not, you're still the same old annoying sadistic bastard I had known."

"Thanks for the compliment, China. Because of what you had said-" Sougo was interrupted with the sudden loud ringing off the clock.

~Ding, Dong, Ding, Dong~

Kagura looked at the clock, seeing that both hands struck to twelve. She mumbled the word "midnight", as if she was recalling something important. She frowned a bit having a hard time remembering that thing that is including the time.

Prince Sougo noticed her being lost in thought so he asked, "Do you really hate me that much that you face shouts it by making a terrible face?"

"No idiot! I'm trying to recall something about time… SHIT!" she cursed, after finally remembering what that, damn thing is. "It's already midnight, damn it!"

"Well obviously, why do you have a curfew or something?"

"It's none of your stupid business Sadist! Just let go off me! I need to get home!" she tried struggling, but the prince didn't like the idea of letting go.

"Oh no you don't China, because you're the girl I will gonna marry."

"What nonsense are you blabbering about? Anyway… Let… go off… me!" Kagura kicked the thing dangling between his crouch making her rival weak and took the chance of running.

She ran and ran because time is running out. She ran not because she doesn't want the people to see the real her, not because her stepfamily will recognize her… but because it's a pain to walk from the palace to their place, it was freaking far. Well, she could always ride the back of her gigantic dog, but she insists of resting inside the carriage.

Not that long, the prince caught up with her, she saw him and immediately got irritated with it. "Why the hell do you keep on following me-aru! You are so annoying!" while running, one of Kagura's shoe slipped off her. The prince took it and said,

"Hey China, you're so stupid you left the other half of your shoe here! Can you please stop littering?"

"Keep it if you want. I really know you like me that much-aru!" she took off the other shoe and ran faster holding it. She immediately went inside the carriage and went home.

The next day, Kagura was busy lazing around when her wicked, old stepmother called for her. "OI! KAGURA!"

*yawns* "What the hell is it that you want-aru" she asked while rubbing her eyes.

"What did you do all night? You didn't do even a single chore I had asked you to do!"

"I had a wonderful buffet last night." She answered lazily. After that, she instantly fell asleep.

"Oi!" but Kagura was already in her deep sleep. Just when Otose was ready to kick her ass, a sudden ringing of the doorbell prevented her to. Knowing that this glutton brat won't budge, she just went to the door herself. She was stunned to see who was there behind that door.

"PRINCE!" she exclaimed.

Sougo didn't care her noisy voice and entered the house like he owns it, "Where's China?" he asked.

"China?" Otose tilted her head not getting this China thing.

"Yeah, Chi-" but the prince didn't had the chance to continue talking when he was suddenly interrupted by an annoying squeal from Catherine.

"KYAA! It's the Prince!" shouted Catherine.

Tama just gave a well-mannered bow.

Sougo was quite irritated with the noisy bitch, but insisted with his question. "Where is China? I know she lives here."

"We don't know who is that China, prince. If you are searching for a bride, you can have one of my daughters." Otose proposed.

"Who the hell wants to have a wrinkled old disgusting cat or a robot for a bride? The one I want is China. Got it?"

"Like what I have said, we don't have any idea who the hell is that freaking China, you kept on asking for!"

Because of the loud ruckus occurring, it made the monster in deep slumber finally woke up. She was ranging with anger, how dare they disturb a lady in her sleep… they would really get it.

"SHUT UP THE ALL OF YOU!" she shouted. Everyone focused their attention on her.

There was deep silence. They just kept staring at the angry girl afraid that they would get hurt if they utter, even a single word.

Sougo decided to break the silence. "So you finally decided to show up, eh?"

"What the hell are you doing here, Sadist?"

"Oi! Kagura! Show respect to the prince!" shouted Otose.

Kagura just ignored her and just continued glaring at the prince.

"Are you really that stupid China? Don't you know that I came here to command you to marry me?" he said in a deadpanned tone.

"Huh why the hell should I do that-aru? I'm not out of my mind to marry you."

"Do it. I don't want to marry Nobume. My parents told me that if I don't present someone to them this instance, I am forced to get tied to that girl, I don't even know."

"Like I care. I don't give a damn on who you will gonna marry, so scram off."

"I won't take no for an answer." Sougo pulled her arm and dragged her away leaving her stepfamily, dumb folded.

"Let go off me, you bastard sadist!" Kagura tried fighting but Sougo's strength was in par with her.

She can't do anything but get caught by him. While running, she started staring at him. His brown silky hair, his crimson eyes, and his warm hands that didn't let go off her. She was so starstrucked, even though she doesn't want to admit it. This handsome, not to mention a prince wants to marry her.

Thinking about it, she can't help herself but blush. If it was another person she may have kick his ass this instant, but this guy beside her is not some stranger. She had known him since childhood, full of bad memories though. She gave him the name Sadist; he gave her the named China.

Remembering the time they had spent together, it was purely fights, teases, argues, and every little thing that will make them mad at each other. Though, she always says that she hates him, deep within her heart shouts how she likes and cares for him.

Kagura was actually sad, when Sougo suddenly started not showing up to their usual place. That's why when she saw him to the ball, she was so happy she wants to hug him. Well, of course she wouldn't. Who knows what this sadist would think if she did. So, she just acted the way, like what she needs to be.

Kagura was so immersed with her thoughts, that before she knew it, they are already in the middle of the plaza, grabbing the attention of the citizens.

"China, I repeat. Marry me."

"Sadist, I won't marry you with a half-assed reason-"but before she could argue him, Sougo already pulled her body to her side and crushed his lips to hers.

Kagura froze. She wants to push him off, but she can't. Her whole body became numb, all her senses went off, but one thing made her surprised the most… she kissed him back. The kiss was so passionate; each passerby who saw them blushed heavily. After minutes of kissing each other, they decided to separate their lips but kept their eyes fixed to each.

There were seconds of silence, until Kagura decided to break it. "Why? Why did you do that?"

"To shut you annoying and noisy mouth."

"TEME!-" but before she could curse him more, he hugged her tightly and proceed talking.

"I don't want to marry anyone but you China. You don't know how happy I am when I saw you at the ball last night. I had missed you so much."

"LIAR! And you're the one who started not showing up! I still went to out meeting place even after you had disappeared-aru."

"I had to do it. After you got kidnapped because of me, I'm afraid that it would happen again, or far worst you might get hurt."

"You know how strong I am-aru."

"I know, but you are a girl."

"Girl? You had never treated me one before."

"Yes, but that doesn't mean you're not. I don't really hate you like I always say… I… I love you. I'm just so embarrassed to admit it."

Kagura blushed deeply, she was lost of words. He confessed to her. The prince she had loved way back from before is now on her reach. She smiled sweetly at him and confessed back. "I love you too-aru. You don't know how sad I am when you started not showing up in our meeting place. I had loved you as far as I could remember. But I kept it as a secret. I was afraid of the fact that it may damage the relationship the both of us had-aru. I was afraid of rejection, so I kept silent. But I regretted it when you had disappeared. I was wishing for a time machine, for I can take the chance to tell you my feelings. I want to tell you that I love you."

Sougo's face brightens and beamed a smile. His usual deadpanned self was absent, as he hugged her tightly. He whispered to her ear, "You love me? Marry me then." Following it with his signature smirk.

Kagura looked at him full of loving eyes as she softly caresses his face; she opened her mouth and responded. "HELL NO." as she smirked back at him.

"Look who's making things too complicated. Geez, accept my proposal already China. You already confessed that you are head-over-heels to this hottie prince in front of you. What's the use of playing hard to get?"

"Look who's talking. You're the first one who had confessed. You said that you can't live without the oh-so-cute girl named Queen Kagura. Oh and I did say I love you, but that doesn't mean I would marry you. Don't be so full of yourself idiot!"

"You would marry me and that's final."

"I will not."

"You will."

"Will not."

"You will."

"Will not"

"SHUUUDAAP!" shouted Ginpachi-sensei after being disturbed with his nice, comfty deepslumber.

*sudden change of setting-Gintama High, class 3z Ginpachi-sensei*

Everyone looked at the angry teacher who kept on ranting.

"What's the noise about! I was having a good dream! That stupid brat would already marry that sadistic prince! But I woke up before reaching the end!" snapped Gin.

When he looked around, he noticed that the students kept staring at him with that disgusted look on their face. That's when he got an idea on what he had blabbered about.

"Gin-chan had a fairy tale dream-aru! Mwuhahaha!" Kagura teased.

"Sensei, we're really sorry we had interrupted your sleep, not to mention your 'fairy tale' dream." Sougo added.

Every student blasted off with extreme laughter. It made Gin embarrassed, having a tint pink blush forming to his cheeks. Wanting to change the subject, *coughs* "So do you mind telling me what's the ruckus about students?"

"It's all China's fault." Sougo answered.

"What do you mean, Souichirou-kun?"

"Sougo desu. She doesn't want to wear this maid outfit, all the girls already agreed to, except her. Well, I know it doesn't suit her or anything but she still needs to wear this."

"Mind your own business bastard! I won't go wear that and serve other students! Might as well the serve me."

"Every girl will wear this. No exemption."

"I... Will… Not!"

"You will."

"Will not."

"You will."

"Will not."

"Wait. Is this for the school festival who said that we are running a maid café?" Gin asked.

"We did an election for it while you are still asleep sensei. Waiting for your instructions would just lead to nothing." Shinpachi answered.

"Well, I have another idea." Gin scratches his permed head. Everyone looked at him, waiting for that 'brilliant idea' of his. "Since Kagura doesn't like the fact of wearing a maid uniform, let's not force her shall we?"

Hearing that made Kagura jumped with joy. "Arigatou Gin-chan!"

"And the thing we would do to our school festival is a fairy tale themed play, based from my dream."

No one dared to react. It's not a bad idea, they thought first. Knowing using Gin's dream as a base, it would be unique. A sure click to the viewers, not until her announced the main characters.

"The sadistic prince would be Souichirou-kun, and the princess would be Kagura."

"WRONG MOVE SENSEI!" said the whole class in unison.

He saw the two main characters glaring at each other and said in chorus, "We won't do it!"

"Yes you will. If you don't want to get a zero from me." After that he went out of the classroom but didn't fail to hear the 'TSK' coming out from the both of them.

"Time to write the script." He mumbled to himself.

~OWARI~

AN: next would be eto.. Momotarou... Sou da you...

PLease review


	2. Sougotarou

**SOUGOTAROU**

AN: Arigatou for reading "Something Cinderellish"

After turning a famous fairytale into a blasphemy, let's go now and wreck a well known foktale this time, shall we? Hehe… ~Dozo… Momotarou Gintama (OkiKagu) version.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own both Momotarou and Gintama... but the lame jokes, as well as the grammatical errors are (proudly) mine^^

In a peaceful town of Edo, there lived an old couple who loved each other, Shinpachi jii-chan and Otsu baa-chan. (You owe me this one, Megane XD). Though they had been together for a long time, they haven't been given a chance to have a child, but that didn't stopped them from loving each other.

One day, Otsu baa-chan is doing her laundry at the riverside.

~Chome, chome… Chome, chome…~ while singing she noticed a huge peach floating at the river. She immediately picked it up and brought it home.

"Jii-chan, look what I have found! It's a huge peach."

Shinpachi, who was busy with the woods he was cutting, saw the humongous peach and exclaimed, "Wow! Come, come. Let's cut it!" as he was about to cut the peach with his kitchen knife, it split into two and was kid inside it, holding a katana.

The kid has a sandy colored hair and crimson red eyes. They had decided to raise him, and gave him the name, Sougotarou, (Okay, I know that sounded BAD, please spare me with that.) which ended having him the nickname Sougo (problem solved^^).

The kid having an emotionless and sadistic attitude made him have fewer friends. The other kids think he is scary because of his sadistic plays, or because he seems the type whom doesn't enjoys some ones company. Well, except from one girl that is. She is Kagura, she's not scared at him, but she doesn't like him either… to be exact, she HATES him. But to the sadist kid, it's much better rather than her being scared at him.

Every day they kept on playing together… um, I think brawling is much a proper word for it. The reason for their everyday quarrel is because Sougo kept provoking her. He makes sure that she would angrily retort back at him.

"Hey China, I see you're here again. I knew it, you like me."

"Geez Sadist, don't get me wrong. You do know how much I despise you right? I only go here because of the delicious food jii-chan and baa-chan makes-aru." She stuck her tongue after answering and went inside Sougo's house.

Years past and the two of them still get along well with each other… um, I'm sorry that was wrong… what I meant was they became more harsh, rude, and brutal to each other. They even got friends (servants) to play (sadistically) from time to time.

One day, Kagura suddenly didn't show up at Sougo's place. At first, he didn't seem to care, but several days had passed but Kagura was still nowhere to be found.

"Hey Sougo, it seems that Kagura-chan hasn't been coming here these past few day. Did the two of you have a fight? But aren't you always fighting in the first place?"

"I don't know jiji. Maybe she got sick or something because of eating too much, or should I say, eating everything." Sougo emotionlessly answered while walking outside.

"Where are you going?" his megane Jiji asked.

"Out for some fresh air."

He went to the rice fields where they usually fights with each other. He lied under the tree trying to make some sleep, when one of their (servant) friend, or should I say Sougo's underling named Yamazaki went to him.

"Taichou! It's unusual to see you alone there. Where's Kagura-chan" he asked, but Sougo just gave him a cold shoulder.

Minutes later, their other friends came rushing to their sides.

"Oi! Yamazaki! Sougo!" called Otae.

"You shouldn't stay late at night, or demons might come and devour you." Followed Hijikata while slurping a bottle of Mayo.

"Shut up Hijikata. Geez, grow up already. You're too old to believe in things such as ghosts or whatsoever demon." Sougo commented.

"TEME!"

"But what Hijikata-sama said was true." Tama defended.

"Mitsuba-san told me that there are demons roaming around at night time kidnapping kids, women, or whoever stays out late. She also told me that Kagura-chan was one of the victims." Otae, explained.

Hearing that the information came from Mitsuba, the lady which Sougo looks up to and respects, he immediately believed all he had heard and went home as fast as he could. He packed all his things and came to bid goodbye to the couple who had raised him.

"So, this is all for Kagura-chan right" Otsu baa-chan asked worriedly.

"Sougo's a big boy now, baa-chan. No need to get worried." Encouraged megane jiji.

"At least take this for your journey." Otsu gave him a stick of dango and he proceeded to his mission. To find the demon who took his China, away from him.

On his way he met a sunglasses, I mean a sunglasses wearing a human, (Oh yes! I did it on purpose) lying on the ground. He looks so hungry, like he haven't had eaten anything for years. Sougo went near him to ask where might the demon could be.

"F-food" Madao softly mumbled.

"This is such a waste of time."

He was about to leave when Madao held the tip of his clothes and begged for food. He gave a sigh and said, "Wait a sec." he turned around pulling out the dango he got from his grandma and poured some Tabasco sauce around it.

Madao ate it and blew fire to his mouth. After that a blinding light surrounded the whole place. The light slowly faded leaving a baldy old man wearing a fairy dress, accompanied with a pair of wings and a magic wand.

"Who the hell are you? You are so disgusting, an old baldy cross-dressing cosplayer."

"This is my real form; I had finally regained my strength and power because of the dango you gave me." (And for those who doesn't know him… please read the first chapter "Something Cinderellish")

"Uh…" Sougo replied uninterestedly.

"And as thanks-"he let his bald head shown bright and a bag was placed in Sougo's hands.

Looking back, the baldy fairy had already disappeared. He took a peek at the bag he had received. It contains a parfait, banana, and a ramen. (Please don't ask me how they didn't spill out). After a second pause, he decided to resume his distracted journey.

On his way, he met a dog who is lying on the ground. He was about to kick his ass away, but the white dog with a messy fur suddenly spoke up. "Hey brat. Do you have something to eat there? I'm so dead hungry."

"And why the hell should I give you food eh what does it benefit me?"

"Pesky brat. Okay, as thanks… I'll follow you anywhere you go and punish all the enemies you got."

Sougo instantly imagined Hijikata's butt being bitten by this white dog. "Call. Here, chose what you want." He tossed over him the bag.

The dog immediately chose the parfait and ate it. "Oh yeah, what's your name brat?"

"Sougo."

"Souichirou huh?... Call me Gin."

"I said Sougo. Anyway, let's go. We still have a demon to slay."

So Sougo, together with Gin the dog, began walking when they met a crying gorilla.

"UWAaAH! I'm so lonely! Not to mention I'm so hungry!" the gorilla cried.

Sougo was about to slice the noisy gorilla who is currently blocking their way, when Gin did the honor of talking to it.

"Hey, shut up stupid Gorilla. Stop making noise pollution with your cries as well as water pollution with your tears. You're so annoying; can you just die in a corner?"

It seems that Gin's provocation didn't come through with the gorilla and hugged both him and Sougo instead.

"Please let me join your group! I'll do anything you want me to do. Just don't leave me alone!" he begged while crying with a Tarzan going out from his nose.

"Hey! Let go of us stinky gorilla!" Gin shouted.

"Fine. You can go with us, just let us go." Sougo said.

"Are you sure of it?" Gin asked.

Sougo imagined the Gorilla dragging Hijikata and throwing him into the river.

"Yeah, yeah… let's just go already. I still need to save China from a pervert demon."

So they went back to their mission. While walking, Sougo gave the piece of banana to the gorilla who introduced himself as Kondou. On their way in saving Kagura, they met a(n) (annoying) peasant.

"Aren't it a wonderful day? Want to play kick-the-can" the peasant asked.

Sougo pointed his bazooka at the peasant. "You would make a good soup." He said.

But the gorilla protested and even gave the ramen to the peasant. Because of that, he decided to join their party. Sougo even thought of using this peasant as a thief to steal all Hijikata's disgusting mayo.

"Oh, so your name is Zura." Gin commented.

"ZURA JA NAI! KATSURA DA!"

Finally, after the long walk, they had reached the place where the demon resides. He went inside without second thoughts as the three animals followed him from behind.

"Demon! Show yourself!" Sougo called.

After that a pale man with braided hair greeted him with a huge smile. "Oh my a guest. Please come in."

Sougo pulled out his katana and pointed it out on him. "Are you the demon resides here"

"Demon? I'm not quite sure about that… but I am a Yato." He answered unsurely while tilting his head.

The two men's conversation when finally, the girl he was looking for showed up.

"SADIST? What the hell are you doing here-aru?"

"To save you obviously."

"Imouto-chan, you know him?" the Yato asked.

"Imouto?"

"Sou da yo-aru! He's my brother Kamui."

"Your brother is a demon"

"What the hell are you talking about it's true that we are ridiculously strong, but it's rude to call us demons. Oh and you also said you're saving me. Save me from what? From being bored"

"They said that you have been kidnapped by a demon because you are loitering outside late nigh."

"Hah! Bunch of bullshits. I only went here to visit my brother."

"Oh great. Come with me for a sec." he dragged her outside.

"Oi! Why you-" but before Kagura could answer back, Sougo crushed his lips to hers. Kagura was shocked on what was happening. She just froze her body while her mind is busy being confused.

After some seconds, Sougo let go off her and formed a smirk from his face. "Well then, since everything is now clear… I'll get going and go home." Sougo was about to take a step away, when Kagura grabbed his collar.

"Wait a damn minute! What the fuck have you done to me-aru!"

"Oh, you don't know I didn't know you're that stupid China. Ever heard of a kiss before?"

"You asshole! I know what a kiss! What I meant was, why did you do it to me?"

Sougo moved his face away from her and waved his hands while saying, "Just messing with you, I guess." With a mocking tone.

"Why you, bastard-" but before Kagura could beat the hell out of him, her brother Kamui went outside calling their attention.

"My, my… just let you know, I saw everything that had happened. How dare you steal the innocence of my precious sister have. You need to take responsibility."

"Gladly." Sougo faced Kamui as he unsheathes his katana.

**EPILOUGE:**

After the fierce battle they had, Sougo went home looking pretty beaten up. But that doesn't means he lost. They had a fair result of a draw. Kagura went home with Sougo, together with the three animals who owe a favor towards Sougo. Wearing a sadistic grin, he though,

'_Tomorrow's the start of Hijikata's torture to death.'_

OWARI~

REVIEWS ONEGAI ~BYE BEE~


	3. Kagurapunzel

**OMAKE FROM "I LOVE YOU BABY" chapt. 2**

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful, gorgeous, pretty, good-looking princess which has been locked up in a tower by an evil witch. The only thing she do is to brush her long, long, not to mention long orange hair… the name? It is…

KAGURAPUNZEL

But her daily routine changed when she had met a bishounen prince. The prince instantly feel in love with her beauty so he decided to save her.

"Princess, put down your beautiful hair so that I could rescue you." He said.

The princess did what she had told. The prince started climbing up using her long hair… but the problem is, he is a sadist. He can't help himself say these things;

"Princess, once we get out of here, marry me. I'll tie you, whip you, and cuff your hands."

Hearing that made the princess annoyed, when the sadistic prince was about to reach the top, she cut her hair making the prince fall.

She used this chance. She jumped at the prince's body which has his bones broken and covered by her hair, using it as a cushion. The princess ran while shouting…

"So long sucker! Mwuhahaha!"

And she lived happily ever after…

~The end…


	4. The Missing Romeo

OMAKE FROM "I LOVE YOU BABY' chapt. 6

WHO IS THE REAL ROMEO?

JULIET /KAGURA/: Romeo is that you-aru?

ROMEO 1 /MADAO/: Huh? *currently searching for a coin under the vending machine*

JULIET: *kicks his ass* Romeo isn't poor-aru.

ROMEO 2 /KONDOU/: JULIET! *eating bananas and kissing Otae's picture*

JULIET: Romeo is not a gorilla… and… SHE'S NOT JULIET-ARU!

ROMEO 3 /HIJIKATA/: *scratches head* *sigh* Why the hell do I need to participate in this crap? *coughs* Juliet… Come and join me, let's reign Mayo Kingdom together.

JULIET: SHUDDAPP! MayoraOuji, you've got the wrong kingdaom-aru!

ROMEO 4 /KAMUI/:Imouto3 3 3

JULIET: STAY AWAY BAKAMUI!

ROMEO 5 /ZURA/: ROMEO JA NAI! KATSURA DA!

JULIET: *kick-punch-kick*

ROMEO 6 /GIN/: Juliet, have you seen my JUMP?

JULIET: LIKE I CARE! If you are not Romeo, then go away-aru!

ROMEO 7 /SHINPACHI/: Juliet, here I am. *arranges his glasses*

JULIET: NO! I won't marry a pair of glasses, uh-huh!

ROMEO 8 /SAKAMOTO/: AHAHAHAHAHAHA! JULIET I HAVE ARRIVED! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

JULIET: *kicks him back to space*

ROMEO 9 /TAKASUGI/: Juliet… *smokes in his kiseru* let's destroy this world right now. *grins*

JULI—KAMUI: *drags him back to the ship* ^_^

ROMEO 10 /PRINCE HATA/: LOVE AND PEACE 3 My princess, the real prince had arrived.

JULIET: SHUDDAPP! BAKA OUJI! *snaps his charm point*

ROMEO 11 /ZENZOU/: PIZZA DELIVERY! *stomach grumbles* Ughh… *runs to the comfort room*

JULIET: Why the hell did ya come here-aru.

ROMEO 12 /YAMAZAKI/: AnpanAnpanAnpanAnpanAnpanAnpanAnpanAnpanAnpanAnpan 

JULIET: *sparking Anpan at him*

WHERE IS THAT FUCKIN' ROMEO-ARU?!

ROMEO 13 /SADAHARU/: Arf!

JULIET: *looks at him; snuggles* Oh my Romeo, my dear Romeo. Where have you been-aru?

*Bazooka firing*

ROMEO 14 /SOUGO/: Oh bitchy Juliet, here I am finally.

JULIET: Fuck ya Sadist! Go away! You're the sadist Jerkaiser who rules the sadist planet and not my Romeo-aru! Shoo… Shoo…

ROMEO 14: *pulls her and makes her drink a sleeping potion* Shut up crazy bitch.

NARRATOR: And so the Jerkaiser-sama, and not Romeo is Juliet's prince… amd they have lived at the sadist planet, despicably, and chaotically ever after ~ -_^


End file.
